Cruelty and doubt
I see the shade beneath the tree
covers and protects movement
hideous acts of kindness
Cruelty moves along
For an act of doubt
they poured honey in my wine
and I became a midwife
Clearly spawning eager lies
the tantrum and my mess
I am masked
and my question’s improbable
tear me a piece of your lustful meat
I have zero witnesses
and no one there to doubt
paralysed up in front
Fit me among the regulars
and some callous claims
takes it only to leave it be
There are resting places in this world. Places where the young is nurtered by the old, and they take shelter together and love each other. These are the resting places.
Entering the world is like coming to a place of seemingly chaos. Yet, upon further contemplation, there seems to be order and truth in it. It can be discrerned by a diligent mind, but most are unwilling or have forgotten how.
We are as if placed on the edge of a border. The edge of society and mankind all togehter, and our culprit relapses over and over again. We cannot go too far into the tunnel, because it is hot and burning. So we rest a second in front of the entrance, having no hope for ourselves.
We wonder what will we meet once the door is closed. From a space that cannot be transcended. Will it be merciful towards us? Eat our skin, and our pain and heart. We do not know, we only know that we have to go in through the entrance one day. It is always a countdown.
So proceed! - What else to do? Were I framed? How would you frame such a one as me?
Proceed into these obscur places. Darkness and calming nights. Drinks and toasts, and have no fear.
There are certain elements inside the Church which wants to eradicate demonic possession, and thus accomodate modernity. But we should not be looking to "fit in" with the crowd and the superstitions of modernity.
We need a careful evaluation of what demonic possession is, and why secular psychology wants to re-brand it as mental illness, specifically schizophrenia.
The truth is that it is an obscure question that can only truly be answered by people who have throughly studied this subject and have seen many cases of the phenomenon. We cannot leave this question to people who are ignorant. The Church is not a democratic politician who repeats what the crowd wishes in order to get votes. The Church must do what is right and truthful
The truth is that demonic and angelic possession has been subsumed by psychiatry in an effort to securalize society. If you study schizophrenia enough you will understand that what we have always known to be either demnoic or angelic beings have simply been refashioned as audatory and visual hallucinations.
The phenomenon are the same. But since there was an effort to securalize society, doctors, philosophers and politicians needed a way to explain the age old phenomenon in a new and "accepted" way. That's all there is too it.
Try asking any psychiatrist what the voices claim to be. Most of the time they will claim to be what they are. Demons. Why should we as Christians doubt that?
How is it possible to convey the truth about me? It is a secret well kept, and accordingly it sounds unreasonable to most people. People expect reality to be what has occoured to them in the past, because by what else than experience could they know what is real? But the causes they comprehend is all wrong. There is something afoot, and they don't understand what it is.
The carrot (desire) hangs in front of their proverbial donkey head, and onwards they go. What I have seen is unrelatable to ordinary people, and thus they will dismiss it as false or a delusion, when it is really their own ignorance which stops the moving train.
I have been through these dark tunnels which have brought me down into a pit and flying over the Moon. Like a spaceship through the cosmos, and always nearly entrenched by chaos monsters. These silly subconscious beings which analyze and influence the course we all take.
How strange - ! Once I was a boy like everybody else. I knew these kids in my neighborhood, and in some sense we were on the same page. How eagerly we played on those never-ending summer days. Am I still like my peers? I would say no, and maybe I never was. They of course have ordinary lifes, and average concerns. And they thrive in that milieu.
Do you know what I mean? I have been taken on a trip that is extra-ordinary. Have seen these monsters which lurks in the shadows which they do not see, yet they are there, and also for them. They just don't know about them.
How to proceed? How to tell the story? What to make of this life? Where to go? And finally - where to rest? In these tunnels. I these dark corridors. These vast magnificent halls. This vestige of utter discomfort and no prestige at all.
The Limitations and Ugliness of the Universe
Concerning the design of this world. Since we have zero references to anything outside mundane awareness, we mistakenly assume this world to be the best one available. Modern people reconcile evil and suffering with the mistaken idea of "progress". They think that tomorrow will be better than today. But we have come so far into the future that this idea seem false.
The truth is that this world was supposed to have been a literal Paradise. But with the Fall of Man evil, suffering and ugliness entered it and tainted it beyond repair. Now, all that we see and experience is a broken world. How can we assume otherwise after the Holocaust? Modernity promised us material paradise --- and accordingly culture gave way to a pleasure cult.
Hardship and endurence is now all that we have and we are spoiled in that regard. Seeing this world sets us on a course to another. I naturally evoke a flame in us. A passionate disregard for this world and its undertakings.
Take a look at what humans is able to achieve. We call it magnificent that we have visited the Moon, but is it really? Mans intellect seem strangely ugly. It comprehends reality in a set of logical conclusions, but in it, it lacks true creativity and spirit. Go to a suburb and tell me what you see.
It properly has a very efficient design, and you can see the logic behind it. It needs to house people who use it as a place for sleeping and leisure time, and perhaps as a sign of social status. There are garages, because cars are an efficient means of travelling, and so everybody has one. It has gardens that people maintain because they like being outside sometimes.
The cost-benefit of an average suburb is very well thought out. But where is the love in it? Where is the beauty?
But does this ugliness simply spring from the human understanding or is it a pattern that seem to characterize the world in general?
Plotinus writes that substance and form cover the evil none-being which is matter and makes it worthwile in some sense, but is substance not a mere cheap design made simply for efficiency and to have some kind of story and development going on in the Universe?
Even the form of beauty itself can seem trivial, or is it just because this broken place cannot truly convey or conceive beauty?
Society seems to be comprised of people on a silly narcissictic journey for power and pleasure, and so we understand the nature of organizations.
The only thing that truly stands out and makes this world possible to live in is morality and love. That is a wise design whereby we can have some reconcilation for our ugliness and ignorance. Someday it might come to dominate our experience. But this world would have to fall before it can be done.
What Do You Love About Me?
Love is a loaded word that we frequently use yet possess so little. You claim you love me, but is it really me you love or is it something that I am? If you claim to love me because of what I am or possess then it is not love at all.
If you love me because of my beauty or sense of humour then you do not love me truly. You love some part of me, but if this part ceases to be, if I suddenly loose my beauty, then you will stop loving me. But then you did not love me. You liked something superficial that I had, and that's not the same as love.
It's a cliché to say, but most people confuse lust with love. This is especially true about people in a post-modern society. We tend to confuse intimacy with love, if we experience intimacy at all.
If it is really love, then it has to be unconditional or it is just not love (so stop calling it that). Love captures her object in all of his complexity, nuances and emotional breakdowns. If it does not do so, it was never truly love.
We need to experience more love or we will remain emotional destitudes who has traded our hearts for easy sexual satisfaction.
On Science and God
Turn yourself inwards for just a moment. You need to realize that we live in an isolated pocket of time, meaning that because of the failure of our intellectual abilities we do not see very far and we have no idea, in the greater picture, what came before us and what comes after. With our tiny telescopes, we gaze out into the Universe - and see nothing.
What other worlds could there be? What is the universe really? All of these questions - we have no absolute knowledge of any of this. This could be the play-thing of some disturbed being. But then, what lies beyond this world?
Modern science is a weak attempt at solving these timeless questions. It has its uses in various technologies and some fields such as medicin. But it always fails to grasp the greater image, and by its design it just can't go there. The denial of God shows its inferior design.
Religion comes much closer to answering these questions. Especially mystical and intuitive religions. When we enter these fields, we understand the world as it was meant to be understood. Not with the microscope of science which cannot see the forest for all of the trees, but in symbol, metaphor, aphorism and revelation. By these means we grasp existence, which is messy and complicated, in a single vision.
Why science became atheistic is an interesting question. Scientists will answer that they don't believe what cannot be proved. But that is obviously fallacy. The reason why science cannot prove the existence of God is because science is weak and impotent. We don't possess the means to analyze a transcendent being.
Religion is not illogical or irrational. It makes perfect sense to assume a creator deity. Speaking about logic, it just doesn't make sense that the universe came out of nothing. Our knowledge have become more refined since the Middle Ages, which is a good, but when it comes to the essence of religion, science cannot dispute these claims.
What to do, if you are trapped in a maze? For simple people, life is simple and mostly uncomplicated. They face certain risks like breakups, illness and death, loosing a job. But the average citizen in a Scandinavian country knows only little about the ills of life. One can sometimes think that hardship is a good in that it softens up the ego.
We do not face simple things. On the contrary we can truly be said to be battling some fierce demons. What do that makes us? Nothing really, but the constant pressure expands our intelligence and knowledge about the world. We might live in otherwise peaceful countries, yet we have witnessed the face of war and toil.
One thing that this has taught us about the world, is that it is complicated. There are no simple answers. Reality is extremely hard to discern. Simple answers often fools us. But then one day our perspective is altered and we see the world anew. We observe effects, but most people have the causes entirely wrong. This goes for philosophical questions as well as for more ordinary situations. We once thought the world was flat.
We must be inexorable wills, because these places are ill. Lunatics govern the planets. Who else would think making atomic weapons is a good idea? War and strife in itself makes no sense. What stops the world leaders from cooperating with each other? Only their selfish quest for personal power. But it keeps us focused on what is essential and not on extraneous hedonism.
Just go on and claim your destiny. What else would you do? But understand that there are things hiding out there that might change your priorities. But who really wants an ordinary life? Like soldiers we march...