Archive: year 2020
22-02-2021 - by Emil Hjort
I was passionate about ideas and wanted to develop some for myself. But the weather took me. I went in search of divine things, but gravity kept pulling at me. I understood some things, but some kept eluding me. I searched, but there came no answers.
I saw the world open before my eyes, but then I was disturbed by this spirit. I saw the illusion that is the world, but still the answer kept eluding me. I wanted to give of myself, but the direction I had kept disturbing me.
Perhaps one day I will know the truth of these occurrences. Today, though, I live in the borderline between fiction and reality, and how to convey this to others? I want to have dealings with other persons, but if they do not understand my point of view, how can I share of myself?
Above all else I want to share myself. I believe in the reality of love Ė to be honest I havenít seen a lot of it, but I believe it to be real. But I cannot love what is not real, so I am placed in a situation where I seek love, but where it remains a sort of delusion. I can love, but am not loved back.
When I look at myself in a mirror, its almost as if I donít recognize myself. I am such a stranger, even to myself. These things I have seen are tearing at me. Still I need to go on even further, for I now there are more revelations waiting for me at the edge of reality.
Luminous reality. But such forces pulling at us. I came to near to the nest and was disturbed by it. Now it sits there, almost as if it is not there, but always doing its work in the background. I guess that I will now the truth one day.
I wish only to shine bright!
I wish only to give of myself!
I wish for love and compassion, but where is it now?
Why do you insist on going without when everything is revealed inside your core? Spirituality is first and foremost a search for God. If God did not reveal himself to you, what does that say about your spiritual state? You must lift up your gaze from these boring routines and there excel and let it come to you in a defining vision.
For this is the Wild West. You must be exceedingly hard if you are to conquer these fields and towns. Here only the most adventurous souls are welcome. All else are denied passing. Let the fields reveal themselves to you. There are secrets at the heart of this world, and inside is God to be found. And you have found.
Do not neglect yourself in the conquest for things outside. Turn within and conquer what is inside. When the inside is conquered, you will rule the outside. And it will come to you in a vision when you are ready. Test the measures, and control the whereabouts. The weather is always extreme out here, and what other way to live?
For they live long and dull lives, and we live short life filled with adventure and such mighty landscapes. Would you rather have been another drone?
But then come out and conquer, but turn within first.
The Kali Yuga
Ascend, dear soul, and leave your association with matter. Extend into that night of which there is no return. You should go onward, rather than linger in this stupid and silly world, for is it not of courageous substances that we are made? We were made for ascension. We cannot linger and stay on these shores, for we have seen some measure of what is found in the beyond. Ever restless, put on feathers and soar into the air like an eagle. Do not stay here.
For we long solely for the Other World. Though we have ambitions that must be fulfilled in this world, it is coming on slowly. As black as the oncoming wall of darkness when night falls, so evil will always fester in these wretched places. Boys are made into men by struggle, and it is in struggle that we subsist. Money and expensive items have meaning only in a world of shortage. Did we not know of poverty and meanness, it would loose its value.
And so the world turns. The high classes thrives with the ignorance and baseness of the masses. We see how evil and Fascism thrives in countries that are collapsing. But anything is better than the empty promises of Capitalism. Building an entire ideology solely on the idea that extreme pleasure is the only human goal worth following is the meanest thing yet to come, but again it makes sense that people follow the Dream, for money and pleasure have value in a world of shortage.
We could build something better. We could have religion and transcendental goals, but we have been reduced to mere chess pieces in the hands of the Capitalist overlords who above else desire pleasure. Other elites throughout the ages have sought other ideals such as absolute power, but now we have lords such as Trump who is but a vain hedonist.
But it matters not. This world shall burn in due time. What matters is our pursuit of truth and honour. How will they judge us when we are gone. What was our deepest longings and highest ideals? It seems to me that the Middle Ages might have been our prime years. Not as such in matters such as freedom and material prosperity, but it had the ideals of transcendental religion. Now that is all but gone and shattered.
There is not much left to salvage. Will there arise a new kingdom out of the ashes, or are we bound to forever exist in a state between servitude and material hedonism? Can there be no bridge onwards for something clean and pure and beautiful? These are dark days indeed, O my heroes. But also this shall pass.
At the end of the world
If you want to discover anything of significance, you have to go beyond the borders of the "normal". You have to say firmly goodbye to the world of the "nice people", those who are just taking care of their jobs and little pleasures. If you want to discover the real, do not expect that the minions will love you for it. You have to, in some way, live in two worlds. In one of them, you stare into a mystery so profound it can hardly be explained. At the other end, you repeat comforting lies so as not to awake their fury.
Hardly anyone explores the content of their consciousness. Some do drugs such as LSD, and they can momentarily take you to the other shore, but only if you already have it in you. LSD gets out into the light what is deep within, but if what is within is hollow, what does it matter? Besides that, drugs only have temporal use. They exacerbate the mind, so that some content, mostly the structure of thought, becomes more evident, but after a while, it just becomes pointless debauchery.
You can only get there by divine providence. You alone are chosen to take part in a profound mystery. The rest can only watch from the distance, hoping that a bit of the light might shine on them as well. What will come from the experiment is still not clear. One thing is clear though, it's not going to be easy going there. For now, you can explore the sea, and the precious wilderness in which lives such strange creatures. You know them very well, and you have much to fear.
Much is still not clear. But will the mud sink to the bottom, if the water is allowed to rest? Or will you die before you even know the truth about your own life?
Do not despair. I know it seems hopeless, but you have the spirit necessary to go through this. You have proven this time and time again. You are sailing on a great sea, with such terrible might, and such dreadful waves, but someday you will find the shore. This is your Odyssey, now hold on.