At the end of the world
If you want to discover anything of significance, you have to go beyond the borders of the "normal". You have to say firmly goodbye to the world of the "nice people", those who are just taking care of their jobs and little pleasures. If you want to discover the real, do not expect that the minions will love you for it. You have to, in some way, live in two worlds. In one of them, you stare into a mystery so profound it can hardly be explained. At the other end, you repeat comforting lies so as not to awake their fury.
Hardly anyone explores the content of their consciousness. Some do drugs such as LSD, and they can momentarily take you to the other shore, but only if you already have it in you. LSD gets out into the light what is deep within, but if what is within is hollow, what does it matter? Besides that, drugs only have temporal use. They exacerbate the mind, so that some content, mostly the structure of thought, becomes more evident, but after a while, it just becomes pointless debauchery.
You can only get there by divine providence. You alone are chosen to take part in a profound mystery. The rest can only watch from the distance, hoping that a bit of the light might shine on them as well. What will come from the experiment is still not clear. One thing is clear though, it's not going to be easy going there. For now, you can explore the sea, and the precious wilderness in which lives such strange creatures. You know them very well, and you have much to fear.
Much is still not clear. But will the mud sink to the bottom, if the water is allowed to rest? Or will you die before you even know the truth about your own life?
Do not despair. I know it seems hopeless, but you have the spirit necessary to go through this. You have proven this time and time again. You are sailing on a great sea, with such terrible might, and such dreadful waves, but someday you will find the shore. This is your Odyssey, now hold on.