I declined their amusing offering, so as to portray to them what would happen if they were mistaken. They pushed the offer into absurdity, and I did believe in it at some point. But I was unwilling to go with the trade, when I could not see all the way to the end. I knew of their sinister methods, so how could I trust what could not be believed by any credulous person?
However, I did want to believe it. The prospect alone made me famous, and that was enough. So I went along with them to the edge of the map, where things turned out to be nonsensical. Common cause/effect relationships did not function at this point, and everything was more dream-like and had qualities that would change in odd ways over time. This space was definitely heretical. To make such points in the face of God Himself.
I wasn’t tyrannical. I wasn’t oversensitive either. You could not say that I was happy, yet I had what others could only ever dream of and never achieve. In the face of all of this, I was an extremely powerful player. You could not say that I had earned it. I had dreamed of it, but had never shown any true potential. So it was gifted to me for free. Yet, I was not happy either. I was not depressed either. I was just moving along, sometimes taking extreme pleasure in myself, which is really a disqusting habbit.
It was like an experiment where the points were not fixed and everything was allowed for the sake of the fun and experience. We sought what could become of this show and menace. I did move along in this free territory, but I was just another lost person.